6 antidotes to beating myself up

‘I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be; for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances.’

~ Martha Washington, wife of George Washington~

“Am I predominantly letting well-being flow through me, or not? Am I letting it in?” Er – today, maybe not so much!!

It’s funny I think of this week as predominantly happy but I know I’ve written about a couple of low points too. This morning I woke up and the first thing I thought was, “Oh, no, I might have to cancel my course next week!” Registrations are so low – an all-time low for this close to the day. I then proceeded to stew and beat myself up in equal proportions.

I talked to my FS on paper and she quite rightly pointed me to yesterday’s blog. If I look back to what I’ve achieved with Future Self Now since January it is a lot: – designng and building workshops, 3 courses, 3 booster sessions, lots and lots of one-on-one sessions, a new website, Facebook and Twitter, audio blogs,  this blog and more. That does feel good but still here I am berating myself for a crappy marketing campaign.

The good news is that coincidentally I organised some sessions with a PR expert this week. We’ll be working together for the next month or so – starting to really look at what I need to reach out more.  I’m definitely excited about that.

So I suppose this is the uplifter from this state of beating myself up. If the course does end up getting cancelled then I can probably thank it for being the spur that had me really do what it takes to get my marketing sorted out. I can’t be my Future Self without bridging this gap and perhaps this is all about ‘creating the crisis’ that finally gives me the motivation to embrace it.

So here’s a few thoughts on what might work for me right now:

    1. Forgive myself – this is just part of my wonderful journey and, of course, what challenges us makes us strong
    2. Comfort and noursihment – I talk about this in my article in the Tools section of this blog called Comfort-Nurture-Action. Right now I might be needing to look after myself. If I allow myself to do that then I know I will spring back into action quickly.
    3. Count all the things that are going right – looking back at what I achieved this year really helps. Also I know that my program is great – making a lot of difference, getting wonderful feedback and that, at the end of the day, is what matters most.
    4. Put it in perspective – this is so totally not a biggy on the grand scale of human suffering. Time to get over myself!
    5. Use it -Time and time again success has been born out of failure. It is even quoted as a vital part of the road to achievement. So what am I doing resisting this?  I can use this energy and put it to great use  spurring me on to getting a proper marketing strategy sorted out. It’s been on my mind, I’ve been waiting for the right moment and this seems to be it!

On this note of embracing failure I see a perfect opportunity to share with you one of my favourite songs from one of my favourite movies – Chitty Chitty Bang Bang!

Just watching this is a perfect uplifter, so for that reason I’ll make it my 6th antidote!

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GND10sWq0n0?rel=0&w=420&h=315]
  1. T, your posts always seem so relevant and timely. Like you I’ve been suffering from massive bouts of self doubt on my journey to launch myself in a new career (pretty tough if, like you, you’ve been ‘just’ a mum for the past decade or so). However I think I’ve discovered a seventh antidote – namely to accept a challenge that literally forces you into the shoes of your Future Self RIGHT NOW. I’ve just come home from my first day of paid work in over 12 years and let me tell you I was in bits this morning. It involves dealing with the public and giving them styling advice in a very pressured environment and when I arrived this morning I didn’t have a clue what I should do. I just felt so inadequate compared to the dynamic 28-year-old running the show (my boss! How humbling is that for a 47-year-old!). And yet here I am, fresh off the phone to my husband, after telling him that, well, I picked it all up pretty quickly and d’you know what, I was pretty damn good! And now I realise, you have to push through your worst fears and all that horrible self doubt and just be your Future Self right now. I feel so empowered and emboldened by my courage in turning up and acting ‘as if I just do this kind of thing every day’. And I dont think a soul noticed my struggle. They just saw someone who was good at her job, and wow, this is just day one! All proof that self-doubt can be conquered, and one way of doing it is to throw yourself into the bear pit. Thanks, T, for sharing your humanity. Your posts are a daily inspiration to me.

    • Thanks so much Claire. Yes, very good point – sometimes there’s nothing for it but to throw yourself into the ‘bear pit’ as you so aptly put it! In essence I think this all revolves this idea of being willing to fail as a necessary part of our expansion. Risk is hugely transformative when taken at the right time. You are so ready for this move and the world is waiting for your wonderful skills. Well done for ‘feeling the fear and doing it anywyay’!

Leave a Reply